Agnostic

Most of the people with whom I have shared experiences and beliefs of my faith have been already somewhat willing to believe similarly. This morning was not such an occasion.

I have spent the last year building an very casual friendship with the man that runs the gas station a/b a block from my apartment. I usually go in 3-4 times a week for coffee, soda, gas, etc. In the past year, we have made small talk, commented on top news stories, talked about a few of his interests (he custom paints motorcycles, rebuilds laptop computers, writes, and is currently working on a proposal for 'floating houses').

Today, out of nowhere, he finally asked me what I do. I told him that I work with teenagers and college students through a local church. We spent the next hour in give-and-take conversation about faith. This guy is an extremely intelligent young man, who used politics, chemistry, phsycology, business, and philosophy to describe his thoughts. (Obviously he is much smarter than I...me...uh, whatever). Much of thoughts foucsed on belief's relationship with ego. He said many things that were common to many of my own frustrations with myself and my christian brothers and sisters...and yet, he was so lacking in the faith that it takes to make sense of faith that it was a revolving conversation. I never approached any part of the conversation from any firmer stance than what makes most sense to me and where my passion has led me. I never felt like we were arguing or debating, or anything of the sort...we just shared some doughnuts and talked...but when I left I acknowledged that it has been a while since I have been so stretched in conversation by someone with no interest in faith in a God. He said that he enjoys the conversation and would like to continue talking...I'm exhausted just blogging a/b it!

It is nice to be able to share doughnuts and conversation. It is difficult though -- to be so far from bringing hope.